That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
