oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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