dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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