I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You pole danced in your parka.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
