Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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