I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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