as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize