Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Walk of Shame today included voting.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
