I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
