i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have demons in me.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
