Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize