The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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