turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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