He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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