I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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