Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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