Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
