She's JV to your varsity
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think people are normalizing furries
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
