ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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