so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize