How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
