just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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