Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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