That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
