So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There r osticjed everywhere
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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