I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
