tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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