Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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