Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
