i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
