Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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