Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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