After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
