brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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