her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
