please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
