I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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