I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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