Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
