he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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