dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
