My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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