how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize