Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
