yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
