I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
