i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
