The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
