Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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