I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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