That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
