I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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