His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize