i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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