Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
