Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We got so high we made milksteak
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
