Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
