Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
