You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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