i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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