I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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