I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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