He disabled his match.com account in front of me
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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