Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
