I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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